Fall Schedule

I may or may not be able to post for the next 3 months. I'm a huge procrastinator and usually make time to do whatever pops into my mind but this time around I'm really going to try to manage my time well this semester. I am officially taking General Biology 1 with lab, General Chemistry 1 with lab, and an upper Psychology class. Not defeating myself, but I'm screwed. I haven't done anything like this before and Gen Bio scares the shit out of me...I over estimated myself a couple of semesters ago and had to withdraw from Bio or get a C. Super, duper nervous.

I am hoping that my new found respect for the subjects and managing my time studying will overcome my pending thoughts of doom.

• Read chapters before lectures and labs
• Record lectures
• Listen to lectures and make own notes
• Study 2 hours a day as well as at night when the household sleeps
• Take advantage of tutorial center and Prof. office hours
• Turn off the phone at a certain time (I'm very close to my parents and siblings so that'll be hard)
• Try the index card method

Not to mention keeping up with my psych class which is online. Things around my house will be less than stellar because I can't eff this up. I already have 2 of those blasted W's on my transcript--I don't want anymore.

Find it in your hearts to wish me good luck. I'm sure I'll update before the semester ends.


~Surly

Motivation

Sometimes, when you least expect it, you get this strong desire. This urge. This push, to do something that you just have to/want to do out of the clear blue sky. No triggers such as SDN or Old Pre meds or any of those prime time med shows. A 'just because' feeling from within you.

I have to do this. Come hell or high water (I never understood this and frankly I don't even know if I phrased it right) I have to make a go at this. I don't know if I will succeed. All I know is that I have a burst of positive energy that says I must. Most of the time I wallow in self pity and fail in my mind a billion times before even attempting to try. But tonight, right now, I want this. I want to be a Physician.

At this moment, late at night and alone in my living room--there are no maybe's or probably or my personal favorite-I'm not smart enough. But just this small fleeting light in me that I want this bad enough so that fail isn't an option. The pressure cooker is on...and strangely I am giddy with anticipation.

Bring it on pre med.

~Surly

Popping in to Say, Hiii

The summer is almost over and I have enjoyed it thoroughly...although a small part of me begins to ache with anxiety when I have been without a stressful, migraine induced semester for too long. I guess what I'm trying to say is, is that I miss school. I am going to so regret saying this but I can't wait for classes to start up again. I won't have long to wait--classes start for me September 3rd. I have been trying to register for general chemistry alongside biology but the chem classes have been jammed packed for like forever. Hopefully, I will get in. I don't know what I'm getting myself into wishing and praying for a spot but it has to be done. No time to waste.

You know what I've been doing for the past couple of days? I've been searching the web for active blogs of non-traditional pre-meds, like myself. Not those 22 and 28 years olds who are still bright eyed and bushy tailed, but the pre-meds that are in their late 30's and 40's. They seem so rare. I come upon them here and there but usually they are already medical students or they haven't written anything in over a year. Sucks. I'm a little lonely. Believe it or not, I have no friends (LOL :P) besides my siblings. They already have flourishing careers and none of them are in the medical field. There is a computer technician, lawyer, cameraman, counselor, and fashion editor. I am the oldest, yet the last to succeed. I want someone that I can talk to that isn't dripping with sticky enthusiasm but has just enough passive aggressive assholeness to get through the semesters with. Is that asking too much?

Anyway, that is all I suppose. I will update again just before classes with my full schedule. I'm looking forward to complaining and drinking coffee and fiercely judging people in my head. I've so missed that.


~Surly